My motorised conveyance.

Its last year,
I've taken delivery of my new car, a shiny 1930 Packard Standard Eight 726.
I've gone for a drive with my old chum Humphrey around the delightful Gloucestershire country lanes on the hills of the cotswolds. I'm really giving it some welly at 65mph, when Humphrey fellates me.
"Humphrey I'm going to crash you silly bastard!" I shouted.
"Mbwwwmm mwnew ww" He said.
"Humphrey stop immediately what on earth are you doing that for" I demanded.
"Sorry George, I got frightened by the high speed and had to distract myself else I would have fouled your car". He stammered."I must carry on!" He insisted and he did before I could stop him.At that point we hit a hedge and my penis got bitten off.
"Could I put my finger up your arse?" He suggested.
I thought, why not.